A Conversation with Playwright Ben Abbott, "Buddies," SkyPilot Theatre Company, by James Scarborough

Ben Abbott's "Buddies" tackles the deceptively complex terrain of adult male friendship with humor and depth. The play zeroes in on David, a man whose social life revolves around obligatory hangouts with his wife's friends' husbands. Then he meets Adam, his sister-in-law's new boyfriend. Their immediate connection sparks what Abbott calls a "bromantic comedy" that chronicles their fumbling attempts to forge a meaningful friendship.

Abbott's work recognizes a rarely acknowledged social phenomenon: the difficulty men face in forming authentic connections beyond childhood or college years. He choreographs the awkward dance of male friendship—the uncertainty about appropriate emotional boundaries, activities, and expressions of platonic affection.

Director Morris Schorr, with his 55-year directorial background, guides an ensemble cast through this exploration of modern masculinity. Abbott, whose previous works include "Grave Mistakes: A Haunted Rom-Com" and the award-winning solo show "Questions of the Heart," brings his UC Berkeley theater training to bear on this universal yet under-examined aspect of the human experience.

"Buddies" promises more than just laughs. It offers us a mirror to reflect our struggle with vulnerability and connection in an age where meaningful relationships often take a backseat to digital interactions and professional obligations.

Below follows an email conversation with Ben Abbott.

JS: "Buddies" explores the challenges of forming male friendships in adulthood. What personal experiences or observations inspired you to write this comedy?

BA: This play started as the collision of two seemingly disparate ideas. I’d been challenged to write a traditional rom-com, and at the same time, I was reflecting on the isolation of being a young dad and how hard it is to maintain friendships. One day I found out that a friend of mine got married because all our mutual friends posted pictures from the wedding, which I hadn’t known was happening. While I was smarting from that, it collided with this idea of writing a rom-com. What if I used the traditional rom-com structure and tropes to tell story about male friendship instead of romantic love? I was surprised at how well it worked.

JS: The character of David is described as someone who "doesn't have friends so much as he has an obligation to hang out with his wife's friends' husbands." How did you develop these characters? What research went into understanding the dynamics of adult male friendships?

BA: The embarrassing answer is that most of the research is from lived experience. I’m a dad with young children and I sometimes feel isolated and miss those close relationships I had when I was younger. Like David, I’m not particularly drawn to some of the traditional male-bonding activities like sports or video games, which gives me a bit of an outside-looking-in perspective.

JS: How has Director Morris Schorr’s involvement shaped the development of "Buddies" from page to stage? What specific insights has he contributed to the work?

BA: Morry’s gift is teasing out the subtext and backstory that isn’t explicitly on the page but is crucial to making the story and characters complete. The actors in the cast have wonderful comic chops, and Morry gives them room to play and discover the bits and beats that elevate the comedy and help tell the story. It’s that kind of collaboration between artists that make a play more than just what you read on the page

JS: Discuss the contributions of your design team, Selena Price's lighting design and Luc Rosenthal's properties work. How do these technical elements enhance the production’s storytelling?

BA: When you write a play, it’s easy to just blithely throw in stage directions about piles of children’s laundry and snacks and specific books. Then Luc has to actually go out and not only find all those things, but make sure they fit in the world of the play aesthetically. It takes a very resourceful artist. This play also plays a bit with time and perspective, and Selena’s lighting design keeps everyone on the same page. It’s a crucial part of the storytelling.

JS: Your previous works range from "Grave Mistakes: A Haunted Rom-Com" to "Questions of the Heart: Gay Mormons and the Search for Identity." How does "Buddies" fit within your body of work? What new territory does it explore?

BA: These are the types of questions playwrights have a hard time answering. When I look at my work, it has a lot to do with love and family and identity and community and how we fit or don’t fit. I’d say Buddies is the most personal play of the bunch. It’s the closest to my own lived experience. I know a lot about the Beatles, so they talk about the Beatles. I like to cross-stitch, so they cross-stitch. But what was born out of expediency made me identify with this character more than I have other characters I’ve written, and it made the show much more personal and reflective of me.

JS: You've described "Buddies" as a "bromantic comedy." How do you balance the comedic elements with the more poignant aspects of male friendship and vulnerability?

BA: I think there are two ways to approach it: trying to write a poignant exploration of friendship and loneliness and throwing in some comedy to make it more palatable, or trying to write a solid, fun comedy, and the themes emerge naturally from the story. I went with the second approach, and I think it’s more successful because of it. By focusing first on telling a funny story, the emotional underpinnings actually feel more authentic. I think comedy buys you the room for those poignant themes and vulnerability. It opens us up and allows us to be available for them.

JS: The play examines what "grown men even do with each other." What challenges did you face in authentically portraying male friendship without falling into stereotypes or clichés?

BA: I avoided stereotypes by simply being true to my own experience. At one point David say’s it’s very hard for his kids to buy Father’s Day cards for him because they’re all about fishing or beer or golfing and he doesn’t connect with any of that. That was taken directly from my own experience buying Father’s Day cards for my dad, and now my kids are in the same boat. The cliches and stereotypes just don’t fit. But that can sometimes make you feel like maybe you’re doing something wrong, and that’s part of the story.

JS: How do you hope "Buddies" might change or influence conversations about male relationships and emotional connection in contemporary society?

BA: Well first and foremost I want people to laugh and enjoy themselves. But I also think a lot of people are experiencing similar things, but just not talking about it. I would love for it to give people an opening to talk about it. The thing I’ve heard most after readings is, “I’ve got to get my husband to come to this! It’s like you’ve ben spying on us.” 

JS: While centered on male friendship, you've noted that "women will enjoy it, too." How did you ensure the play would resonate with diverse audiences beyond its central male characters?

BA: Given the responses to the previous readings and workshops, it may be more apt to say, “men will enjoy it, too.” A lot of the inspiration for this play was the admiration and jealousy I felt about the relationships that my wife is able to maintain with friends old and new. That shows up in the play as a contrast to the struggles the men have, and hopefully it feels authentic.

JS: In creating a work about the struggle for authentic connection, what do you ultimately hope audiences will take away from "Buddies" about human relationships in our increasingly isolated modern world?

BA: The irony of feeling isolated and lonely is that when you start talking about it more openly you realize that you’re not alone. We’re all struggling to make connections, and if we are vulnerable enough to put that out there, we can help each other. I really wrote this play to express something personal, and I thought it would make my friends laugh. But the enthusiastic response it’s received surprised me. It turns out a lot of people feel similarly.

Performances are Friday and Saturday at 8:00 p.m. and Sunday at 3:00 p.m., April 4 through May 4, 2025 (dark on April 20, Easter Sunday). Tickets are $40. The 905 Cole Theatre is located at 905 North Cole Avenue, Hollywood, California 90038. For more information, click here.