A Conversation with Playwright/Performer Margot Rose, "UNCONDITIONAL, A Musical Memoir," Skylight Theatre, by James Scarborough

"UNCONDITIONAL, A Musical Memoir" chronicles the journey of two women who, in their mid-forties, embark on a quest to build a family. Margot Rose's autobiographical musical delves into the complexities of queer parenthood, capturing both the determination required to create a family and the devastating aftermath of loss. The narrative unfolds through a blend of original music live with a four-piece band on stage, and personal storytelling to explore how life continues even when traditional notions of healing seem inadequate. Rose's experience as a mother frames the larger questions that drive the piece: How do we construct and maintain family bonds? What sustains us when faced with profound loss? The production doesn't shy away from life's unpredictability. It embraces it as a fundamental aspect of the human experience. Director Anne Kenny, who has been involved with the piece since its 2019 inception, helps shape a narrative that celebrates the totality of Rose's experience as a gay mother, both before and during grief. The work suggests that while we may not fully recover from loss, we can find new ways to connect with ourselves and others through the shared experience of continuing forward.

Below follows an email conversation with Margot Rose.

JS: Your piece explores the journey of two women in their mid-forties pursuing parenthood. Discuss what motivated you to share this specific aspect of your story.

MR: So many pieces went into the surety that I had in beginning the project: that I had already been writing about my family, our kids and our home, that the kids had just gone off to college, that my partner and I had very recently separated and that we had just sold that family home. But my true singular motivation was the loss of my daughter at the end of November in 2018. She was a wonderful artist and always pushed me to do more, to be all I could be. Writing a piece for her and for our family was almost immediately clear to me - it was the only path I could take to withstand the loss. Most importantly of all, I promised her before I said goodbye that I would work every single day to be the artist she believed I could be.

JS: The play deals with both the creation of family and its potential fragmentation. How did you approach balancing these contrasting narratives?

MR: I believed that the best way I could unfold our story was to do it in a nonlinear fashion, because of course, that's how our memories sit with us, in and out, here and there. I knew right away it would be a musical and the music would weave in and around the narrative. Very important to my telling is the minutia of everyday, the lists, whether grocery or Christmas, that take and make up our family lives. 

JS: You've mentioned that people don't do well without purpose, and that motherhood provided that for you. How has this perspective shaped the story's development?

MR: I knew from the moment our twins were born that I was in it as I never had been in anything before; that is, that the level of commitment and dedication was crystal clear and would not falter. Losing a child is a life defining moment - nothing will ever be the same. My purpose has remained focused on my son as well as on my daughter’s memory; that purpose then grew to include the promise I made to Nora to create this piece to honor her.

JS: The piece explores grief without necessarily promising healing. What influenced this approach to discussing loss?

MR: The approach is simply my truth and experience over the past six years. There are losses that do not heal. I believe there are many significant losses that do not ever completely heal. We go on different from what we used to be. 

JS: How does the musical element of the piece help convey the emotional complexity of your journey?

MR: Music is essentially emotional to me from the get-go; it has been for my whole life and was, always, in our family. The music for the show came to me in bits and pieces, lyric lines and chunks of melody during a period of over four years, sometimes in the middle of the night. In 2021, I began working with Aaron Benham to score and arrange all music. He has been invaluable in my journey

JS: Discuss how the LGBTQ+ aspects of your story intersect with the universal themes of family and loss?

MR: My ex and I had to work harder than many heterosexual couples to conceive, so we always knew how fortunate we were to have our kids. Other than that, we made a family with mistakes and joys just the same as any non LGBTQ+ family; our devastation in loss has been the same. 

JS: In what ways does the production address the concept of resilience versus traditional notions of healing?

MR: Though there may be other ways we find in rehearsal with staging etc, the resilience is mainly in the narrative.

JS: How do you navigate the intimate details of your personal story while making it accessible to a broader audience?

MR: I believe that part of the magic of art is that when I tell you my story, detailed and particular, somehow it unlocks your story for you. 

JS: The play suggests that community plays a crucial role in survival. How is this theme developed throughout the piece?

MR: There are references from the very top of the show to community - in noticing it and feeling it. As the story continues, it is crucial to the upbringing of our kids. (yes, it does take a village). When loss sweeps in, shocking everyone around us, we are surrounded, held and held up by our community.

JS: Elaborate on how the production addresses the question of "how do we become (and stay) a family" in the face of adversity?

MR: I often say these days that my son is my hero. Losing a twin is beyond devastating, especially for a 19-year-old boy. Will has picked up the pieces and is leading a bold courageous life. He says “I’m living my life for two, mom.” My ex, Pat, and I have been through all sorts of changes, but we will always share a history, a journey that no one in the whole world really knows but us. They are my family. And Nora? Nora is with each of us every day in one way or another. Thank you for your lovely, thoughtful questions.

Performances are 7:30pm Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays; 3pm Sundays through March 9, 2025 (no performances on February 28, March 1, and March 2). Tickets are $30, with a 10% discount for students and seniors. Opening night tickets are $40, and preview tickets (February 13 and 14) are $20. The Skylight Theatre is located at 1816 1/2 North Vermont Avenue, Los Angeles, California 90027. For more information, click here or call 818-749-6842.