Directed by Michael Bay, written by Ehren Kruger, Roberto Orci, and Alex Kurtzman
Rating: 1/10
Summary: This film is a tsunami of special effects overload. A mind-numbing, never-ending barrage of Computer Generated Imagery makes the characters seem like Pez dispensers.
Story: In a sequel to “Transformers,” Sam Witwicky (Shia LeBeouf), a not so typical, not so average college student, staves off monstrous onslaught of Decepticons intent on extinguishing the sun and, thus, life on earth.
Analysis: “Transformers: Rise of the Fallen” is a perfect example of a film that trumps narrative and thematic value with over the top production values that diminish any enjoyment of the film.
The film is pure spectacle.
From the moment we see first Mikaela Banes (Megan Fox) in short shorts, bent over, legs draped over a motorcycle, it’s clear the film has abandoned substance and embraced magpie-effect.
It’s not that the effects are unwarranted, it’s their extent and scale. We’re talking about the destruction of the Earth because of a long held blood feud between Decepticons and Autobots, a story described in the prior movie. The fight scenes are magnificent in their oomphness; it’s like watching the film with 3-D glasses. It’s just that the visuals get in the way of watching the movie. We don’t feel like we’re in peril because of these creatures, it’s more that we’re about to have an epileptic seizure because of all the reflections off the metallic surfaces.
A lot of it has to do with the way the Transformers are built. They’re organic junkyards, shards of metal, all shapes, sizes, and colors, collaged onto a chassis. This gives the visual tone of the movie a non-stop kaleidoscopic of flashing lights, like navigating Times Square with a hangover. When the Transformers fight, you can’t tell who is who: it’s just a colossal tangle of parts tangoing across the screen.
The story’s ridiculous. While the fate of the Earth is being decided, Sam and Mikaela are trying to get the other to say “I love you” first. Sam’s parents, Ron (Kevin Dunn) and Judy (Julie White), serve no cinematic purpose. Judy’s tirade at the beginning, at the prospect of losing her son to college, rings just as hollow as Ron’s wailing, at the base of one of the pyramids, that he will not be separated from his son.
One thing is hilarious and it has nothing to do with special effects. It has to do with casting. Apparently former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld’s face has become the prototypical face of governmental cluelessness when it comes to military operations. John Turturro’s Agent Simmons, special Presidential envoy, has the same glasses, haircut, and imperious manner.
The Bottom Line: The theatre was packed, even for a matinee. It apparently had the third highest gross for midnight releases. There was cheering and applause each time a Decepticon got whacked. If the target demographic was people brought up on video games, multi-taskers, and ADD impresarios, then this is their film. Is it entertaining? No.
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